January Update {or Ossi is Max and Max is Still Max}

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I did not send out the December update, because the day I was going to, I was informed that Kai Jensen was on life support at Penrose Hospital in Colorado Springs. The decision was made to remove Kai from the machines that were keeping him alive and a great friend, son and husband was lost on January 3rd.

Here are some of the words that were posted on that thing Mark Zuckerberg invented...

I first met Kai on the school bus to 7^th grade. He talked to me some and then told me that I “really needed to clean out my ears.” Not because I was deaf or unable to understand what he was talking about, but because the wax build up within my ear canal was in need of cleansing. Since that day, I have had the cleanest ears.

One day, Kai brought the album Led Zeppelin IV into school for a show and tell of sorts (not sure if that’s what you called it in 7^th grade) and later when I asked on the school bus if I could borrow it, he said “Nah, it’s my sisters.” What a jerk, I thought.

But, little did I know, we were becoming friends, confidants, brothers.

One time, upon entering his room at the house on South Park Drive, he had the song “Wild Boys” by Duran Duran playing on the lowest speed on the record player. To this day, whenever I hear that song, it sounds fucked up at the appropriate speed. I sometimes wonder if Duran Duran ever heard the song that way. They should – because it’s fucking awesome.

An adventure during the South Park Drive days ~

We snuck out of the house late one night to go find something to do – which in Monument terms meant find a cul de sac (granted Park & Ride was dead) and study for midterms. We snuck away in my 1973 lime-green Mercury Monterrey and ended up at some unknown cul de sac off of 105 (I think it was by Jason Little’s house). We hung out for an hour maybe and decided we’d had enough studying and made to go back. But, the car would not start. We tried the old push and roll method, but this was a 2-ton automatic. No luck. So, we walked at least 3 miles back to the house, and stole Jen’s white Subaru Outback. We used her car to push, or should I say violently bump, the 2-ton beast down 105. I didn’t even have headlights; the battery was completely drained. So Kai would drive in the left lane to light the way. When a car came, he would calmly get back behind me and shine the brights. The next day, we felt so awesome because no one noticed the Mercury was not in the original parked spot but on the opposite side and in the other direction. To this day, there still might be a shitty PVC pipe bong I’d made and hid in the drainage pipe under the driveway.

Tim Holman introduced us to Cyberpunk – a game not unlike Dungeons and Dragons, but not nerdy or lame in anyway, because we were the ones playing it – and we used to sit around in Kai’s bedroom for hours on end playing that fucking game. All the while listening to Wild Boys at half-speed. Or the Beastie Boys. Or Metallica.

At the Park & Ride one night, Holman, Kai and I waited and found nothing going on, so I was sent to the 7-11 to pick up some munchies. While there, I found that the store clerk was upset about some hot dogs that had been stolen. The police came. I relayed this bit of news back to Holman and Kai after returning. Then – brilliance! Holman decided to use his parents car phone to call the 7-11 and said something to the effect of, “I know where the hot dogs are,” in a very low and obviously disguised voice. Holman quickly hung-up. From our viewpoint in the car, we could see all of this happening: the clerk quickly hanging-up the phone; the conversation between him and the police; the police quickly leaving the premises; the police car crossing 105 over the highway and checking the payphone at the gas station on the corner. It was the funniest, probably illegal, thing! You had to be there. Hotdogs?!

One night, Doolittle bought us all some beer. We went to Monument Lake, to drink it. A Monument police car came bouncing down the drive. Doolittle hid in front of Mike D’s car. He questioned us about he beer. And, then, in the midst of all this, he shined his flashlight to his right. We all watched in stunned silence as Doolittle ran off into the night. The officer only asked, “Who was that?” (to himself mostly) and we all just shrugged and mumbled, “A jogger?” And the officer took all of our beer and told us to go home.  

Kai and I deeply resent Castle Rock. Why? Because the police could not leave two young men just wait quietly at the Taco Bell after a heavy metal concert at Red Rocks. The story goes like this – we were peacefully waiting for Jamie and Peterson in the parking lot of the Taco Bell. When, all of a sudden, we were literally swarmed by police cars. Red and blue lights flashing! Sirens! Mustached men screaming at us! What the fuck? Well, we had about 15 empty beer cans in a paper sack stuffed under the seat. And let me say this – we may have been underage drinkers, but we sure as hell weren’t litterbugs. And 15 beers over the course of 12 hours is only a way of staying hydrated. Sadly, our mothers had to come pick us up at the Castle Rock Police department at 2:30 in the morning.

One day, our Senior year (I remember this because Kai and I had a free hour together) we borrowed Mare’s Ford Escort and went for a drive on Baptist Road. I began to feel extremely light-headed and surreal – a flashback, I suppose, from over-studying. I told Kai this and asked if he could pull over for a minute so I could get some air, which would be great. But, Kai, oh Kai, I never did get you back for this – he decided instead to crank up the Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic to a mind-numbing decibel and accelerate to 70 miles per hour over what is known as Roller Coaster Road! Oh, the insanity of it all! I felt as if my head would explode!  

We got busted by my mother and Jan McRae when one Earth Day we tried to steal a mixture of scotch, vodka and whiskey from my house on Paintbrush Lane. We weren’t detained, and still made it for a hike on Mount Herman, where Kai’s eye was deeply reddened by a whipped tree branch.

One morning, sitting in Kai’s Subaru at Deadman’s cul de sac, a gnat landed on the inside of Kai’s windshield. I only went to smash with my palm a thing that was lighter than air and instead shattered the windshield. Linda, I’m truly sorry, since I’m certain you had to pay to fix that.

I truly believe that I thought of Kai, consciously or unconsciously, every single day of my life thanks to the Beer game. For those of you not familiar with it – whenever you see a vehicle without a working headlight you have to be the first to hit the ceiling of the car and yell, “Beer!” Trucks are with more than cars – like a 6 pack or something. I play this game alone. I play this game when I’m not even in a car; walking down the street, if I see a vehicle without a headlight, I’ll just raise my fist in the air and yell, “Beer!” One time, a few years ago, after Kai had gotten back from Kuwait, he told me he played that game still. Even alone.

    

 There are times too, that are just a conglomerate of images - days and nights on Mount Herman, days and nights riding around in Kai’s Subaru, or Mike D’s Grand Am, or Mare’s Ford Escort, or Holman’s van with the cardboard on the floor, or Holly’s gold Celica (which Holman dented against the deck post at the South Park house). Days and nights at Fox’s house, Peterson’s house, Jamie’s house, Mike D’s house, Mare’s house. Homemade karate movies. Prom nights. Trips to old Colorado Springs and Garden of the Gods. Watching VHS movies in his mom’s basement. Laughing so hard that tears streamed down my face.

I’ll miss you Kai Jensen. I truly hope that the song is true and that I’ll meet you further on up the road.

*************

Life, as it does, continues and, with Charlotte in our lives, well...it's like living in a dream (due to lack of solid sleep).

We gave up Ossi to our friend Arbaiza. Ossi first went to "Granny", as she was known, and that lasted approximately 10 hours. He "terrorized" her 4 cats and it wasn't "going to work out". I'm glad he's with Arbaiza - he'll spoil the shit out of him. But, per Arbaiza, Ossi will have his name changed to Max in order to keep with a Beatle themed dog name policy. [Max McLean is still Max, no change there].

January 2011 saw Sadie turn 8! My how time flies...

January also saw San's sister and niece visit from Houston. 

So, now that I'm certain you're sick of reading, (or, at least skimming) I'll just go ahead and stuff some videos and one totally awesome picture in here ~

Peace - the Joneses.