Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Price of Copper and Pica Verga

This last weekend started off well enough - in the morning, I played tennis with Jessica; in the afternoon, I bottled the homebrew; and, in the evening, drank a couple PBR's while San and I watched the new George Lopez stand-up special - que chistoso!

Sunday sucked. I noticed, after doing some Rosetta Stone lecciones, that the copper pit fireplace was knocked over in the backyard - or so I thought. Looking out the back door I assumed that Ossi had spazzed out with his favorite toy or chased a bee and knocked the pit over; but upon further investigation, I saw that the copper pit was missing. The wrought-iron stand was there, the steel grate was there and the mesh cover was there, too. Then I saw that the shower curtain metal C-ring that I use to secure the latch on the gate was missing. Also, the cinderblock that covered a small crack in the fence picket had been moved away. So, someone, probably a dickhead, broke into our yard between 8 pm and 9 am and stole the copper pit!

So, I had to call the police and file a report. The officer came by and made sure that I was not hated by any of the neighbors. He said that the report would go out to the local copper recycle places - yeah, those guys are surely on the lookout to return stolen copper that sustains their business! "Uh oh, looks like another copper fire pit. Better check the police reports to see if this was reported. Oh, oops, it fell into the smelter! Darn it!" Fuckers.

Anyway, I had to make some stuffed jalapenos for Max's birthday party that afternoon. This is a great appetizer that Pofahl's wife, Carrie, introduced us to. You take a jalapeno, slice it down the middle, remove the seeds, stuff it with cheese, wrap it in bacon and then cook it on the grill or in the oven. So, I set about doing the aforementioned tasks. In the middle of this process, I needed to go to the bathroom, because the coffee I'd had in the morning was now urine yearning to be released. So, I took a piss without thinking about anything (except what New York looked like before the City was built upon the land - see the NatGeo cover). Then, I went back to cleaning seeds out of the jalapenos. Next thing I know, my dick is on fire! Very nearly literally! San saw me in pain, and all she could say as she giggled was, "You sure have been moody, you son-of-a-bitch, who I love very dearly." So, with my wang afire, I quickly googled "stop jalapeno burn" and found an article saying that dairy products contain caisen which combats the capsaicin contained in hot peppers. So, I just as quickly poured some milk into a condiment dish, went to the restroom and immersed my johnson. Ahhh....the relief.

1 comment:

  1. If dairy is not your fetish - next time wear gloves! :)
    Cari

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